how am i to fall into slumber
with the dark heel of lonliness
pressed to my back
my pillow a slump of regrets
abrading my collarbone
every restless moment tells me
i did not talk to you long enough today
your voice an amputated sigh in my ear
i should have held onto the receiver
kept your breath captive
even transparent air
has a way of creeping in to lend comfort
when the night grows cold
i should have forced my way past your mood
your lost smile
i should have tried laughing
anything to offer up later
as an offering to the gods of lost sleep
now i line my walls with tealights
toss and turn in my nighttime confession
that tells me
i did not love you long enough today
i should have held onto you
rescued you from the fury
of your own sadness
instead my eyes lie wide open
while i try to reclaim you
and put us back
in order
- barbara mitchell